


You Look for the Cat

by Murasaki99



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Other, cats are grey-siders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 13:36:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6612622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murasaki99/pseuds/Murasaki99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Did you just say you’re going to bathe a cat?”  Ren was giving him a very odd look, the corners of his mouth turning up, but Hux was too annoyed to care.</p>
<p>“Yes,” he said with exaggerated patience.  “She’s got fighter coolant on her fur and I’m going to catch her and wash it off.”  </p>
<p>“Of course.”  Ren reached for the holo’s call button.  “Don’t do anything stupid, I’ll be right down.”  <br/>-----<br/>There's "cat help", then there is "Kylo Ren help".</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Look for the Cat

“Gracing me with your company, are you?” Hux watched the ship’s cat prowl smoothly across the deck toward him, red tabby tail held up proudly. He pushed his chair back a little from the desk and patted his lap. The feline, who had apparently been un-named until Hux had taken up residence, sat for a moment nearby, then finding the invitation adequate, seemed to levitate up, purring loudly. “There you go Millicent,” he murmured, removing his gloves to pet the animal. The purr went into his bones and Hux felt some of the day’s worry-lines ease from his face. “Don’t tell anyone, but I find you quite therapeutic.” He skritched the cat under the chin and its brilliant green eyes closed blissfully. A minute later Millicent had flopped bonelessly over his lap and Hux returned to the day’s reports, flicking through the readouts with one hand and slowly stroking the cat with the other. Technically, starships were not supposed to need small, furry predators stalking the decks, but no matter how stringent the quarantine on fresh foodstuffs, some vermin were able to get around them, and once on board ship the critters rapidly became problematic. Ships of the First Order were no exception to the rules of nature and so cats and their analogues were permitted in carefully controlled numbers. 

“Repairs proceeding well… that’s good. Nice to have a bit of normalcy for once,” he scowled at the holoscreen. “Requisition for a new data substation due to … lightsaber damage.” He sighed. “Kylo Ren. Naturally.” He ran his hand from the top of Millicent’s head to the end of her tail and scowled as his fingers encountered a rough patch that felt more like sandpaper than fur. 

“What’s got into your fur?” Feeling for that anomalous spot, he pushed his chair out a bit more to bring it into the full light from the ceiling. The cat purred and didn’t answer his question, but under the better lighting Hux soon found the spot – the fur looked as if it had been stuck together with something green that had dried and hardened the fur into tough points. He rubbed at it gently, but it showed no sign of coming off. “Paint?” He brought his hand up to sniff at his fingers. “Fighter coolant? What were you doing all the way down in the fighter bays?” Millicent yawned and blinked up at Hux sleepily. The general scooped the cat up carefully and standing, placed her on his chair. Millicent settled into his warm spot and tucked in her paws.

“Stay there,” said Hux striding across the room to the ‘fresher. That fluid is poisonous, it’s got to come off right now, before you ingest it.” Cats insisted on “bathing” with their tongues, a trait which Hux tried not to think about too hard. He began rummaging through the cupboards. “Soap, disposable towels, why were you under a dripping fighter, anyway?” Carefully assembling the needed materials by the sink he took stock and nodded. “Right, time to get that green goo out of your fur.” Exiting the ‘fresher he found Millicent sitting up on his chair and watching him with interest. “Come along, bath time.” He reached to pick her up.

Millicent popped up and out of his grasp, flipped onto the deck and ran under his bunk, disappearing into the gloom. Hux sighed, got down on his hands and knees and crawled under the bunk, feeling around for her to no avail. “Oh come now! Don’t be difficult, this will only take a minute.” In the furthest corner back by the bulkhead wall he caught the emerald gleam of Millicent’s eyes. 

“General, that’s a rather… uncommon view of you.” Kylo Ren’s voice came from the main holoprojector. Hux startled, bashing his head against the underside of the bunk and Millicent seized the moment and galloped out, shot across the room, and crawled under a bureau. 

“Ow! Kriff!” Hux sat on the floor, rubbing his head and glaring at the holo. “I almost had her!”

Ren’s eyes widened fractionally. “Had who?” From his point of view the room was quite empty. 

“The cat! She’s gotten into something poisonous and I’ve got to wash it off her fur before she eats it like the silly thing she is.” Pulling his dignity together, Hux stood to face the holo, dusting off his trousers. 

“Did you just say you’re going to bathe a cat?” Ren was giving him a very odd look, the corners of his mouth turning up, but Hux was too annoyed to care.

“Yes,” he said with exaggerated patience. “She’s got fighter coolant on her fur and I’m going to catch her and wash it off.” 

“Of course.” Ren reached for the holo’s call button. “Don’t do anything stupid, I’ll be right down.” 

“Ren! What…?” The holo blinked out and Hux felt his irritation ratchet up a notch. He sucked in a lungful of air. “Doing stupid things isn’t my area of expertise,” he said to the empty air. Shrugging, he walked to the bureau and knelt. Millicent was nowhere to be seen. “Damn.” Clearing his throat he called, “here kitty, kitty,” in a tone that would have fooled no one, least of all a cat. 

Three minutes of fruitless searching later, Hux heard the door to his quarters slide open, admitting the black-clad form of Ren, sans helmet for the moment, but carried in the crook of his arm. “Any luck?” he asked as if he knew full well the answer. 

“No, but I don’t see why you want to…” Seeing the open door, Millicent burst from behind a heavy armchair and bolted for freedom. “There she is! Grab her!” 

Ren knelt, held out his hands and looked Millicent in the eyes. The ginger cat laid her ears back and ran faster. “Fine,” said Ren, reaching out with hands and the Force. Millicent gave a great leap, somehow evading both forms of constraint, and using Ren’s head as a springboard, launched herself down the corridor at lightspeed. 

“Oof!” Ren recovered in an instant and spun, holding out a hand. “Oh no you don’t.” This time he tried a larger, more enveloping Force bubble. He’d never tried to catch such a small, nimble creature before with the Force alone, but sensing he had the animal enclosed, he gripped… felt a squirmy sensation, and watched the cat eel out of his trap and dash into the open turbolift, startling a droid who was just exiting. The doors closed, leaving Ren clutching a tussock of cat fuzz in his invisible grip. 

“Any luck?” Hux couldn’t quite hide his smirk. 

“No, but I know what I did wrong, third time’s the charm.” Ren pivoted smoothly and sprinted after his target. 

“Don’t kill her, Ren!” shouted Hux, feeling a sudden spike of worry through his stomach.

“Of course not, I like cats!” Ren shouted back, pulling his mask over his head as he ran. The helm snapped into place, instantly altering the tone of his voice, “I’ve just never heard of one being bathed… successfully.” 

Was he _laughing_? Hux leaned against the doorframe, hearing Ren’s voice growing fainter as he reached the turbolift. 

“Don’t go anywhere, I’ll bring her back in a minute.” 

Ren ran into the second of the two paired turbolifts and paused for a moment, stretching out and consciously feeling for Millicent. Her position was in motion but moving upward toward the bridge. The feline did not feel afraid as much as affronted. Ren tried a Force-suggestion. _Come to me._

Millicent produced a mental huff and began washing her backside. 

“Augh!” Ren broke the tenuous contact with a shudder. Some things he just did not want to experience, even by proxy. At last the turbolift halted, and Ren stepped out onto the bridge. A few junior officers and staff glanced his way, at first with idle curiosity, then with growing alarm as Ren proceeded to look around, obviously for someone. The crew froze in position, which was convenient for Ren – he quickly found Millicent’s small shape, sauntering along toward the front of the bridge, rubbing along the fear-stiffened legs she encountered on the way. 

“All right cat, nothing to hide under, up here.” Ren threw the lock for the turbolift door to temporarily keep anyone from providing another escape route and then moved after Millicent, who the moment she sensed pursuit, bounded around and over the workstations, leaping at last onto one of the large consoles. The crew ducked for cover as Ren jumped after the cat, making a leap far too long and quick for a normal human and landing nearly on top on the cat, buttons and controls crunching under his boots. “Got you!” He grabbed the cat round the middle with a hidden grin and pulled her toward his chest, using the Force to assist his grip. Millicent’s paws scrabbled for purchase on the console, claws out and digging at anything she could grasp. 

“Lord Ren please… that’s the controls for…!” a lieutenant squeaked, hand over her mouth as if to stifle a scream. 

Hux was back in his chair, attempting to do a little more work before Ren returned with the cat, assuming Ren could actually catch the animal. _Oh well, maybe it’ll keep him busy for a little while. How bad could it be?_ He thought, squinting at another manifest for replacement TIE fighter parts. 

The day lighting in his quarters shifted to red simultaneously with the alarm klaxon. 

**_Warning primary drive core dump in progress, please prepare to evacuate the ship._** The ship’s AI voice sounded calm. It was probably the only sentient thing on the ship experiencing calm at that instant.

_Memo to self_ , thought Hux, tossing his stylus over his shoulder, _never ask stupid questions_. 

\---  
Current score: Team Cat 1, Team Human 0

**Author's Note:**

> Pablo Hidalgo on the existence of Millicent:  
> http://mishavi.tumblr.com/post/138804344172/its-just-in-hux-has-a-ginger-cat-and-its-name
> 
> A thousand thanks to Sath, who made me aware how Millicent got her origin by the above link.
> 
> And it is my conviction that cats have the move "Force Evade" as a natural class skill.


End file.
